What Day Is Everyone Moving Back Into Stuvi?

humor, Uncategorized

Hey you know what’s fun about college? It keeps going on, even after you’ve graduated.

Okay, I’m not going to play dumb about all of this. I saw The Notebook, I know that all things have to end. But with move-in weekend happening now, it feels weird. Three months since I graduated Boston University, and I’m still waiting to hear what day I get to move back in and which classes I’m taking this fall. It’s weird when something that was such an important part of your life for so long just ends suddenly.

In that way, BU sort of feels like an ex-boyfriend. BU is my ex-boyfriend who I used to live with, who dumped me after four years and forced me to move out of his apartment and back in with my parents. And, for some strange reason, he keeps sending me emails about networking events where I can meet his other ex-girlfriends who live in my area. And to top it all off, he won’t stop calling me asking me for money.

All jokes aside, we’ve broken up, BU and me. We’re over. For a while, what with J.K. Rowling coming out with a new Harry Potter book and Emma Stone and Andrew Garfield going on a date again, it started to seem like maybe endings aren’t final. But my days at BU are done; this relationship is over. In fact, to symbolically delete this ex-boyfriend’s number from my phone, I just deleted my BU Mobile app. I no longer know when the next BU bus is arriving at Stuvi 2.

And you know what move-in weekend means? It means that 4,000 18 year-olds just started dating MY EX-BOYFRIEND. And, it’s all over social media. 

I’ll give this metaphor a rest for a moment, just to say to all you undergrads reading this, THIS IS YOUR FUTURE. (Was the CAPS LOCK too dramatic? I went back and forth for a while.) Pretty soon BU will be your ex-boyfriend too. So enjoy the time while it lasts, enjoy the free WIFI and the first-class gym in his building. It will end faster than you can imagine. (Don’t believe me, watch The Notebook.)

And when he breaks up with you too, I’ll be there. We can all sit around drinking rosé, talking about all the good times we had with our mutual ex-boyfriend, and agreeing that no matter how many times he calls us we will never give him any money. When that day comes, you have my number.*

*Some of you probably don’t have my number. 

 

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