What You Missed on Last Night’s Episode of The Bachelorette: The Winner Takes It All

humor, television, the bachelor

Two households, both alike in dignity, in fair Dallas where we lay our scene. From ancient grudge break to new rose ceremonies, Where civil group dates make civil drama unclean. 

Tonight’s episode of The Bachelorette involves two fewer suicides than Romeo & Juliet, but let’s be real, just as much drama. Should I do this blog post in iambic pentameter? 

What You Missed On This Week’s The Bachelorette: Norway Is Matt in the Final Six?

humor, television, the bachelor

This week’s episode of The Bachelorette is a two-parter. In part one, Captain von Trapp hires fraulein Maria to be a nanny to his seven kids. In part two, he and Maria get married and fight the Nazis. 

Wait, sorry guys. I’m doing that thing again where I mix up The Bachelorette and The Sound of Music. They both are set in scenic locales, they both heavily feature conflict, it’s an easy mistake.  

Emptying My Twitter Drafts Part II

#life, humor

It’s been a while and my Twitter drafts folder is starting to become as cluttered at the Forever21 sale section. I’ll let you decide if these tweets are more or less valuable than the black unitard that says “UNAVAILABLE” across the chest that I saw in the Forever21 sale section last night.   

On Adulthood:Artboard 18

What You Missed On The Bachelorette: Can’t She Just Be Romanced?

humor, television, the bachelor

Wow there is a crazy showdown at the start of this week’s episode. Squaring off in one corner, weighing in at 225 lbs we have Eric, the personal trainer. And in the other corner, weighing in at 165 lbs (soaking wet) we have Lee, the singer-songwriter.

As well all know, in the storied history of one-on-one altercations, singer-songwriters almost always come out on top. 

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What You Missed On The Bachelorette: Basketball Is My Favorite Sport (Finish The Lyric)

humor, television, the bachelor

As Memorial Day came to a close I thought back on all the sacrifices our soldiers made for our country. And I couldn’t help but wonder, are we all soldiers in the war for love? 

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Okay, that’s my one and only shot at being Carrie Bradshaw. Here’s what you missed on this week’s edition of The Bachelorette: 

Another Bachelorette Recap: Another Journey To Love

humor, television, the bachelor

So how about that episode of Dancing with the Stars last night, right? Just kidding guys, you know why we’re here. The Bachelorette is back. 

Is everybody ready to take off your lawyer hat and put on your love hat? (Paraphrased slightly from Rachel’s opening intro.) 

As Chris Harrison is quick to point out, our Bachelorette, Rachel, has everything. Great friends, a loving family, a powerful career… she’s just missing one thing: the most expensive dating app on the market, ABC. 

Life Update Pt. I: Mozzarella Sticks and Good News

#life, Uncategorized

Hey friends, it’s been a while. I don’t write much anymore, which is on me. But, at the request of my sister, I’m back at my metaphorical piece of notepaper ready to talk. 

Things are happening in my life. I think. Well, technically things are happening to everyone every day. But let me correct myself. Good things are happening in my life. I mean, right now, I’m halfway into an order of mozzarella sticks, and this might be the peak happiness a person can feel.

i don't know

I Guess, What I’m Trying to Say is…

#life, Uncategorized

Eek, guys, I haven’t posted in a while. I’d like to say I haven’t been writing because my social calendar is bursting at the seams. But that’s not really the truth. I’ve had the time, I just haven’t been able to figure out what to write about lately. 

When I started writing two years ago, I was living in London and having awkward encounters with foreigners, going on grand escapades, and making blog-worthy memories every day (multiple times a day). That blog basically wrote itself. Then I moved back to Boston and I tried to chronicle what it was like to be ending a big chapter of my life.

What You Missed on The Bachelor: Hasta La Cheese Pasta

humor, television, the bachelor, Uncategorized

When we left Nick last, ABC had just manufactured a meet-up with everyone’s favorite of his ex-girlfriends. No, no, it wasn’t Kaitlyn. It was Andi. Remember Andi? 

If you’re wondering why Andi’s there, you are not alone. Me, Nick, most of Bachelor Nation, and possibly even Andi herself, are with you. It basically makes no sense for her to be there.

What You Missed on The Bachelor: In Rachel We Trust

humor, television, the bachelor, Uncategorized

When this week’s episode starts everyone is reeling from the bomb that Nick dropped. You remember, when Nick said he wasn’t sure this show would work out for him? Well, to clarify, not everyone is reeling. A very select group of six women on a reality show are shocked that Nick might not find love. 

Most people, law of averages say, are not reeling from Nick’s declaration that he may not find love on the show. Most people probably forgot that it happened in last week’s episode and just carried on with their lives unfazed by the speed bumps on Nick’s road to true love. Or (more likely) they don’t watch The Bachelor at all.