My resolution is to steal other people’s resolutions

humor, Uncategorized

Last night, while I was attempting to conquer the Kamchatka territory in the board game Risk, I asked my friends what resolutions they had for 2016. (Yes, I was playing Risk on New Year’s Eve, what of it?) I had been wracking my brain for a little while hoping to come up with some resolutions for the upcoming year, but the only one I had come up with so far was “Conquer North America.” And that was a very Risk-specific goal and probably wouldn’t be very realistic outside of the Risk-world.

I had pretty much made up my mind that I was going to pick my favorite of my friends’ resolutions and co-opt it as my own. After evaluating their lists and crossing off any of theirs that related to improving health and wellness or decreasing alcohol consumption (none of which interest me), I had come up dry. So I sat down for a brainstorm session of my own in order to come up with some promise I could make to myself for 2016.

Most years I break my promises by January 10th (if not January 5th), but in my old age I’ve been trying to be more realistic about the promises I make to myself. This year, my brainstorm session yielded only, “Quote Hitch more often,” and “Snap(chat) less, Snack more.” Somehow I don’t think that those will get me very far in the next year. (Although Hitch is definitely an underappreciated film.)

So what next? Do I dare enter 2016 resolution-less?

This year will be my resolution-less year. If I don’t have any expectations then I can’t be let down, right? My only goal this year is to take everything as it comes. In a few months I’ll be out in the real world, and these days the future seems less clear and less defined than ever before. And that part is scary, but it’s also exciting. Because the good part about a resolution-less, expectation-less year is that it leaves everything wide open. Anything could happen, even things crazier and wilder than anything I could ever imagine or plan for.


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