Say Goodbye to the Best Excuse You’ve Ever Had: I’m in College

advice, humor, Uncategorized

If Marathon Monday shenanigans have taught us anything over the past four years, it’s that we can get away with a lot of things under the blanket excuse, “I’m in college.” And as we prepare to say goodbye to our friends, TITS Thursdays and the lovely men behind the counter at T Anthony’s, I think we also need to be prepared for when we have to say goodbye to the greatest excuse we’ve ever had for anything: “I’m in college.” In no other place but college could we get away with the kinds of things we get away with now. Think about it: 

Will you donate to my fundraising page? “I would, but I’m a poor college kid.” 

How could you possibly go out three nights in a row? “I’m in college.” 

Why don’t you call your mom more often? “I’m busy, I’m in college.”

The list of things I take for granted is getting pretty long these days, but right below, “My loving family,” and right above “Madewell’s 15% student discount,” I would list this excuse. “I’m in college,” has gotten me out of quite a few things I didn’t want to do in the past and, come June, I won’t have that get-out-of-jail-free card anymore. It’s a socially-acceptable excuse not to do a lot of things that adults have to do, an excuse that we don’t even realize we have until it’s gone. 

In a month, we’ll move on to jobs or to our parents’ couches or to that trip to Thailand we’ve been planning since before freshman year. Along with the campus-wide free Wifi and our free membership to an amazing gym, we will have to say goodbye to a lot of things we don’t appreciate enough now. 

Now if we forget to call our mom the only excuse we’ll have is, “Sorry mom, I didn’t prioritize you over seeing the new Judd Apatow film.” When we go out three nights in a row now we’ll have to say, “I make poor life choices.” And when we don’t donate to our friend’s fundraising page we’ll have to say, “I would, but I’m not a very good person.” 

After writing this, I’m not sure what the take away message is. Do we take advantage of the excuse while we have it? Do we stop using the excuse and try and adjust to adult life a little early? I don’t know, guys. That’s a decision to make for yourself, I guess. I wish I had a better answer for you. I wish I knew what to do, but what can I say? I’m just in college.

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