Emptying my Twitter Drafts

humor, Uncategorized

Emptying out your drafts folder is kind of like dumping your purse out onto the table: If you weed out the old receipts, the random bobby pins, the usb port (with no corresponding cord), and the cough drops that mysteriously wriggled out of their wrappers, you’ll find something unexpectedly great that you had forgotten about entirely. Here’s what I found:

 (You can make your own judgments about which of these are the hidden gems.)

Advertisement

How to Play “The Game”

humor, Uncategorized

Recently while I was hanging out with three of my girlfriends, I drafted a text message to send to a guy. It was the type of text message that had to simultaneously say, “I’m cool but not conceited,” and “I’m both fun and funny.” You can imagine the pressure. 

After drafting the text message I did what any normal girl would do: I passed it around one-by-one so that my friends could read it and help me weigh in on whether or not I should send it. The text message went through a series of rigorous examinations to make sure it was send-worthy. We did focus groups on whether or not it was funny enough. We held caucuses on whether or not I came off too strong in the text. We made graphs and charts to determine if I’d waited the necessary amount of time since he texted me last. 

I Watched Making a Murderer and I’m Outraged, a Novel by Everyone in America

Uncategorized

Making a Murderer is a spectacular example of the power of television to elicit thought provoking and stimulating conversations. Because beyond just the debate over whether or not Dean or Jerry is “your boo” (Dean is mine), even more important debates are happening amongst our communities, friends, and families.

For those of you who haven’t watched the documentary series released on Netflix nearly a month ago, first of all I need to ask, “Why haven’t you?” I’ll lend you my Netflix username and password. (Email: amybiggart@…. wait a second. I probably shouldn’t give this out online.) If you haven’t watched the series, you should stop whatever you are doing right now and watch it. I’ll give you a minute (or more accurately 11 hours).

Hey 9th grade Amy, listen up. You’re doing Facebook wrong.

humor, Uncategorized

I know you’re young and, let’s face it, a little naïve, but let me give you some advice. Facebook is not a place for your every thought, Amy. Are you listening? You need to be careful what you make your statuses. It may seem cool right now for you to post, “It’s Christmas in 5 hours,” but, believe me, it’s not. In seven years someone will inevitably like that status completely out of the blue and it will emerge from its hiding place in the 2009 tab of your timeline onto every Facebook friend’s newsfeed. You don’t know what a Facebook timeline is? Oh, 9th grade Amy, you have so much left to learn.