Last night, while I was attempting to conquer the Kamchatka territory in the board game Risk, I asked my friends what resolutions they had for 2016. (Yes, I was playing Risk on New Year’s Eve, what of it?) I had been wracking my brain for a little while hoping to come up with some resolutions for the upcoming year, but the only one I had come up with so far was “Conquer North America.” And that was a very Risk-specific goal and probably wouldn’t be very realistic outside of the Risk-world.
You don’t know what you’ve got ‘till it’s gone, right Joni?
Guys, I have something to admit. I’m a One Direction fan. I sort of feel like I am admitting to you sensitive information more embarrassing than the time I accidentally stripped down naked in the girl’s locker room in high school. (That’s one story I’ll never tell. *In the Gossip Girl voice*)
The alternate title to this blog post was, “In four months I’m being evicted and fired from my job of 16 years.”
I knew this day would come, guys. I ignored it. I pretended that I didn’t see it on the horizon. I denied it. But now this day is here. I’ve finished my fall semester and I am now a second semester senior.*
I know you’re young and, let’s face it, a little naïve, but let me give you some advice. Facebook is not a place for your every thought, Amy. Are you listening? You need to be careful what you make your statuses. It may seem cool right now for you to post, “It’s Christmas in 5 hours,” but, believe me, it’s not. In seven years someone will inevitably like that status completely out of the blue and it will emerge from its hiding place in the 2009 tab of your timeline onto every Facebook friend’s newsfeed. You don’t know what a Facebook timeline is? Oh, 9th grade Amy, you have so much left to learn.
Dear Amy,
I have a few things I want to get off my chest.
1. You drink too much Starbucks. Like, way too much. One or two cups a day? That is too much. And you drink way too many Cappuccinos and Lattes. If you are going to drink coffee, drink COFFEE. If I see you with one more Pumpkin Spice Latte, I will lose my shit.
Okay, Here's The Situation 