Another week, another very confused recap.
So, as we all remember, Jon Snow is alive. You know? Because why not bring him back to life? The guy who’s been like way too attached to Jon Snow’s corpse these three episodes, stands over Jon Snow as he finally wakes up. He asks Jon what he remembers, and Jon Snow remembers that he was stabbed and died. The Red Woman, whose magic haircut actually worked and brought Jon Snow back to life, asks Jon what he saw on the other side but he can’t remember anything. She also says something about Jon being a prince, but I thought he was a lord so that’s a little confusing also.
Take two of this terribly uneducated and ill-informed recap of Game of Thrones, here we go:
An old guy lurks in the middle of the woods and a boy is on the ground dead. In what looks to be a flashback the two of them are watching these two little boys sword fight when suddenly a girl rides in on a huge white horse. The first boy, who I’m pretty sure isn’t dead but is dreaming, is watching creepily over these children playing, and reveals that the boys and girl playing are his father, uncle and aunt, respectively. I guess he’s dreaming? I’m really not sure. Maybe it’s magic? I have no idea. When the old guy says it’s time to go, he immediately brings the boy back to what might be the chamber of secrets. At least it looks like that to me.
Don’t ask me what rock I’ve been hiding under, guys, I’m honestly not sure. Forgive me for poorly paraphrasing Ygritte, but I know nothing about Game of Thrones. So this recap series is going to be a little different than any I’ve done before.
Don’t get me wrong, I listened as my friends freaked out over last year’s leaked episodes. I, too, was surprised that Jon Snow and the red-haired actress started dating in real life. But I am not historically a Game of Thrones fan. Not even close. This recap is going to be told through the eyes of someone who knows almost nothing about the Targaryens or the generations-old rivalry for the throne. I’m jumping in here blind, not doing any research, and I am going to pick it up as I go. I hope you enjoy. Here goes nothing:
You start the semester all like: