Did anyone check to make sure “Denial” isn’t actually a river in Egypt?

advice, humor, Uncategorized

I have to ask: Does everything really have to end?

I know the short answer to this is, “Yes, of course everything ends.” Through teary eyes, I watched the last scene of F.R.I.E.N.D.S., where the six keys sit all alone on the counter in the empty apartment and, in that moment, I knew that everything ends. But as I watched the cameras pan through the apartment I secretly hoped everyone would come back and that they would bring the barcaloungers and the large porcelain white dog. But I knew they wouldn’t.

Without getting too depressing, people die, stories end, and television shows get canceled out of the blue. (Fifteen years later and I’m still a little bitter about Freaks and Geeks.) So are endings really inevitable? 

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What You Missed on The Finale of The Bachelor: “The Most Dramatic Finale Yet”

humor, television, the bachelor, Uncategorized

It’s time for Ben to make the biggest decision of his life. And I’m not being hyperbolic, that’s actually how Chris Harrison’s voiceover describes it at the start of the show. Just based off of the amount of crying happening in the preview for tonight’s episode, this one looks like a doozy. 

Chris Harrison, back on set to complete his two hours of required work each season, also teases at the beginning of the show that Ben might get married in the live after show at 10 p.m., because, like… why not? 

What You Missed on This Week’s Episode of The Bachelor: Cue the Tears

humor, television, the bachelor, Uncategorized

Just so that everyone knows how ’round the bend I have gone, I am officially dreaming about The Bachelor. I had a dream Sunday night about this week’s episode. (For those who are deeply curious, in my dream they were all on a group date at this haunted hotel and Amanda wasn’t there! It was just Caila, JoJo, Lauren B., and Ben. What does this mean? I’ll consult my dream journal and get back to you.)

What You Missed On This Week’s Episode of The Bachelor: Did He Really Just Bring Her to a McDonalds?

humor, the bachelor, Uncategorized

The gist of the thirty second preview of tonight’s episode is that everyone is crying. About what? I couldn’t say. (Maybe they’ve finally realized that their chances of finding true love on this show are slim to none.) But let’s launch into this recap. This week the show takes the girls and Ben to his hometown: Warsaw, Indiana.

What You Missed on This Week’s Episode of The Bachelor: Wait this isn’t an Episode of Teen Mom?

humor, the bachelor, Uncategorized

The first three minutes of the show are interrupted with a special news report about the Iowa Caucus. I’m sorry, but how is this more important than The Bachelor? Unless they are going to be caucusing on Lauren B. versus JoJo, I really don’t have time for this right now. ABC, know your audience. After the scariest three minutes of my life when the fate of this blog hung in the balance, ABC cuts back to the show. Thank god.