What You Missed on This Week’s Episode of The Bachelor: IDK if Her Dad Would Really Be Proud

television, the bachelor, Uncategorized

Sometimes I think I would be more psychologically healthy if I didn’t watch this television show. Unfortunately for me there is no twelve-step program designed to get me to stop watching, no nicotine-style patch to help me get over this addiction. So I’ll just keep writing until years and years into the future, with my dying breath, I whisper, “What even are the right reasons?”

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Here’s This Week’s Recap of Game of Thrones: Game of Unknowns

Game of Unknowns, television, Uncategorized

Take two of this terribly uneducated and ill-informed recap of Game of Thrones, here we go: 

An old guy lurks in the middle of the woods and a boy is on the ground dead. In what looks to be a flashback the two of them are watching these two little boys sword fight when suddenly a girl rides in on a huge white horse. The first boy, who I’m pretty sure isn’t dead but is dreaming, is watching creepily over these children playing, and reveals that the boys and girl playing are his father, uncle and aunt, respectively. I guess he’s dreaming? I’m really not sure. Maybe it’s magic? I have no idea. When the old guy says it’s time to go, he immediately brings the boy back to what might be the chamber of secrets. At least it looks like that to me. 

What You Missed on The Finale of The Bachelor: “The Most Dramatic Finale Yet”

humor, television, the bachelor, Uncategorized

It’s time for Ben to make the biggest decision of his life. And I’m not being hyperbolic, that’s actually how Chris Harrison’s voiceover describes it at the start of the show. Just based off of the amount of crying happening in the preview for tonight’s episode, this one looks like a doozy. 

Chris Harrison, back on set to complete his two hours of required work each season, also teases at the beginning of the show that Ben might get married in the live after show at 10 p.m., because, like… why not?