Nick V., Nick V., Nick V. Why? Why do you exist?
My Fake Boyfriend, Ryan Gosling
humorI have a fake boyfriend and, before I get too far into the details, I know this makes me sound a little pathetic. But hear me out. I’ve gotten to a point in my perpetually-single life where I feel the need to compensate for never having an answer to the question, “Anyone special, these days?” My stand-in long-time answer used to be, “lots of guys and none of them are special,” but this sort of makes me sound like I have a parade of men marching through my love life, which is just not true. So I’ve devised a new answer for when I’m inevitably asked that at large family gatherings or for when I run into a friend I haven’t seen in a while. And I’ve put a lot of effort into creating someone who I think is the perfect fake boyfriend. He goes by the name Ryan Gosling.
What You Missed on This Week’s Episode of The Bachelorette: Ri-nick-ulous
humorTo begin this post, I want you all to imagine your worst enemy. Girls, picture that guy that never called you back, or the bitch who stole your elliptical in the gym. Guys (if there are any reading this review of The Bachelorette), picture someone who hit on your significant other, or, if you are my dad, picture President Barack Obama. It’s necessary that you all have this enemy in mind before reading this post. I am about to talk about one of the contestants on The Bachelorette with the fiery rage of an ex-girlfriend that got screwed over on national television. Just so you know beforehand, his name is Nick and if you don’t already hate him, please watch this video.
Towns in Middle America that Sound Fictitious
UncategorizedWhilst looking through the notes section of my iPhone, I stumbled upon a list of towns in middle America that I had made, that I think sound fake. A few weeks ago I took a road trip through the midwest, mideast (is that a region??), and the east coast, and I stumbled upon a number of ridiculously-named towns which I will now tell you about. Disclaimer: All of the things I tell you about these towns, I have made up. And, as a second disclaimer, I would like to apologize to the state of Ohio, which takes an unfair amount of grief in this post.
What You Missed on This Week’s Episode of The Bachelorette: A Gypsy Soul
UncategorizedSo if you missed last week’s episode of The Bachelorette you can read my previous post, or you can watch the last five minutes of the last week’s episode. I’ll give you a minute.
What To Do When You Can’t Fall Asleep
Uncategorized*Written last night while severely sleep-deprived.*
According to the little clock at the top of my notes app on my iPhone it is 1:19 a.m., a perfectly appropriate time to write a blog post.
What You Missed on This Week’s Episode of The Bachelorette
UncategorizedThe show opens with Kaitlyn waking up in full make-up. It’s unclear whether she put the make-up on the night before or whether it is permanently tattooed on her face. (Side note: I love how relatable these women are.) Kaitlyn talks with Chris Harrison and comes to the conclusion that the proposal is the part of the show that she is looking forward to the most. We’re three weeks in and she is just now realizing this.
Things That Go Through Your Head While Attending a Graduation
UncategorizedIn honor of the graduation season upon us, I made a list of the following thoughts that ran through my head during Sunday’s Boston University Commencement Ceremony.
(Booming over the loudspeaker system) Good afternoon ladies and gentlemen. Please rise to welcome the Boston University Class of 2015.
Let me lay it out for you right nice
#about, UncategorizedOkay, here’s my stab at a Sex and the City-style blog. (To clarify, this is not a style blog.) a
Ways in which this blog will differ from Carrie’s column in SATC:
I will talk a lot less about relationships. This isn’t because I disapprove of Carrie’s column topics. Most of the time they satisfy me the way a less than average cup of coffee satisfies me on a horrible and tiring day. However, I have an incredibly boring love life and, even if I were to talk about it, I’m not sure I could write anything better than, “How can you forgive if you can never really forget?” Wait, did I say better? I meant bullshit.
I will never smoke cigarettes while writing this blog. Carrie might have made it look glamorous as she finished her column, smoking cigarettes in the middle of her apartment during a heat wave, but I hate cigarettes. If the smell weren’t bad enough, then the commercials in which the teenage girl has to rip part of her face off in order to pay for a pack of cigarettes would do it.
My photo will never appear on a New York City bus. I’m not comfortable with my image so publicly displayed. The best part of this blog is that I could actually be Emma Stone disguised as a girl named Amy Biggart, and you would have no idea. I’m not saying I’m Emma Stone, but I’m also not not saying that. a
Ways in which this blog will be similar to Carrie’s column in SATC:
I will talk about my life. I thought about writing a blog about current events or cultural activities around Boston, but frankly, I find myself more interesting. At the very least, you should always find yourself interesting. If you don’t, change that.
I will probably reword famous sayings in an attempt to seem current and relatable to your everyday woman (or man, if there are any men that made it past my initial reference to Sex and the City.) Example, “They say ‘love don’t cost a thing,’ but does love actually cost everything?” That’s just one example; the possibilities are limitless.
Like Carrie, I will also be writing this on a computer. Although, almost 20 years later, I have to say the technology I’m using is a little more advanced than Carrie’s black, chunky laptop.
So here goes. If I’m lucky, HBO will decide my blog and fabulous life warrant a television show. Picture this: Awkward and the City. It’s a story about one girl tripping through life in the big city. If I’m unlucky I will return to my acting career for which I have received many prestigious award nominations (remember, I’m secretly Emma Stone). Either way, let’s find out.
Okay, Here's The Situation 