Modern Romance Vol. 1: The …

She had liked him for a while and she thought he liked her back.

Weeks of flirting, hair-flipping and fake laughing as he walked by, all came down to this one moment.

The fate of their whole relationship hung in the balance as she stared hopefully, waiting for him to make a move. “Did he like her?”

Suddenly her heart leapt as she saw the writing beneath the text bubble go from “Delivered 10:04 p.m.” to “Seen 10:05 p.m.”

Every glimmer of hope existed in the three dots that appeared next.

…

By “Received 10:07 p.m.” her heart was broken.

Emptying my Twitter Drafts

humor, Uncategorized

Emptying out your drafts folder is kind of like dumping your purse out onto the table: If you weed out the old receipts, the random bobby pins, the usb port (with no corresponding cord), and the cough drops that mysteriously wriggled out of their wrappers, you’ll find something unexpectedly great that you had forgotten about entirely. Here’s what I found:

(You can make your own judgments about which of these are the hidden gems.)

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What Day Is Everyone Moving Back Into Stuvi?

humor, Uncategorized

Hey you know what’s fun about college? It keeps going on, even after you’ve graduated.

Okay, I’m not going to play dumb about all of this. I saw The Notebook, I know that all things have to end. But with move-in weekend happening now, it feels weird. Three months since I graduated Boston University, and I’m still waiting to hear what day I get to move back in and which classes I’m taking this fall. It’s weird when something that was such an important part of your life for so long just ends suddenly.

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Did I reference Toto’s Africa enough times?

humor, Uncategorized

*To be read while Toto’s Africa plays in the background*

To any of you who read my previous post about my family, you will have heard a little bit about my twin sister’s volunteer trip to South Africa. Well, I’m happy to report that she has made it back on American soil and has officially won the title of ‘More Interesting Twin.’ It’s also possible that she always had this title. But, due to the fact she has no blog of her own (she’s far too busy and intelligent to ever voluntarily post this much personal information on the Internet), I thought I’d tell you all about her trip.

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We Put the “ILY” in “Family”

humor, Uncategorized

Aside from signaling the end of a Shakespearean comedy, a big family wedding also serves to bring family far and wide together. And on such a full sea were we then afloat. Okay, that’s already too many poorly-integrated Shakespeare references for this post– let me get to the point. Last weekend, I attended a classic Biggart family wedding.

For those of you who don’t know me or my family too well, let me tell you something about us: we know how to party. And that’s what a wedding is, after all: a huge party. My family loves to celebrate big, with synchronized dance numbers and conga lines headed in questionable directions, with aggressive requests for the DJ to play “Wannabe” by the Spice Girls and total domination of the photo booth. To paint you a picture of the kind of party it is, by the end of the night, odds are good that a cousin of mine will have removed his tie and tied it around his head. This is just who we are.

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What You Missed on the “Emotional” Season Finale of The Bachelorette: Oh No, JoJo. (Unfortunate Rhyme)

humor, television, the bachelor, Uncategorized

It’s the finale finally. Are you all ready to find out the winner of The Bachelorette (aka JoJo’s future ex-boyfriend)? Let’s do this.

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What You Missed on This Week’s Episode of The Bachelorette: It Actually Is Too Little Too Late

humor, television, the bachelor, Uncategorized

Just based off where last week’s episode ended and where this one begins, it seems to me that JoJo has been out there on that tarmac crying for this past week without stop. For those of you who missed last week’s episode, it ended with JoJo running off onto the airplane hangar they were on and crying into the darkness.

For the past week, the rest of America has been sitting on the edge of their seats begging for an answer to this question: Is she going to send Luke home? That was the teaser to the end of last week’s episode. For those of you who missed it, JoJo was about to dump Luke when he pulled her aside to tell her he loves her. JoJo, I can relate. The last time just as I was about to dump a hot veteran who was in love with me (and was basically a male protagonist in a Nicholas Sparks’ novel), he told me he loved me too. It’s rough, but I made it through and so will you.

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What You Missed on this Week’s Episode of The Bachelorette: Is Anyone Even Surprised Anymore?

humor, television, the bachelor, Uncategorized

The episode starts with a classic boy pow-wow, where the guys talk vulnerability. Chris Harrison comes to explain, mostly to the viewers, that there will be three one-on-one dates and a group date this week. Farquaad is getting nervous about this, because he hasn’t had a one-on-one date yet, and thus feels like his relationship isn’t moving fast enough. If this were a Skimm headline, it would say:

WHAT TO SAY WHEN YOU FIND OUT YOUR BOSS DOESN’T KNOW YOUR NAME…

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What You Missed on This Week’s Episode of The Bachelorette: How Do You Say Awkward in Spanish?

humor, television, the bachelor, Uncategorized

The Bachelorette heading to Buenos Aires, Argentina, means that the Spanish language is about to be butchered worse than when I took Fourth Semester Spanish last Spring. (Only you know what that means, Profesora Datel.) So Chris Harrison, who decided to leave behind his Netflix and chill session and make the trip with the rest of the cast, has a little chat with JoJo. They talk for a little while about how big this week is going to be. In summary: Very big. Muy grande, if you will.

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What You Missed on This Week’s Episode of The Bachelorette: WAY TOO EARLY FOR I LOVE YOUS

humor, television, the bachelor, Uncategorized

Due to some technical issues, I missed the first fifteen minutes of the show and am the going to have to draw from Twitter to summarize what happened at the beginning of the episode. Here’s what I got for you: Chad showed up at the house and Jordan Rodgers gave him the opportunity to apologize. Chad says no, confirming what Justin Timberlake always knew, which is that it really is too late to apologize. Chad instead throws his protein powder in the air a la LeBron James (more on the Cavaliers later).

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