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DCOMs and What They Really Taught Us
humor, movie, television, UncategorizedFor me, Disney Channel Original Movies rank right below Mr. Feeny and right above The Reverend and Mrs. Camden on the list of most important influences on my childhood. And whether it was High School Musical Pop Up Edition or Halloweentown, I learned a lot from these films. Surprisingly, or not so surprisingly, the lessons you learn when you watch these movies as an adult change a little bit. As part of a little experiment I did (and as a way to put off all real homework), I rewatched a bunch of DCOMs to figure out what the real take-aways are. So here’s what I’ve learned:
Did anyone check to make sure “Denial” isn’t actually a river in Egypt?
advice, humor, UncategorizedI have to ask: Does everything really have to end?
I know the short answer to this is, “Yes, of course everything ends.” Through teary eyes, I watched the last scene of F.R.I.E.N.D.S., where the six keys sit all alone on the counter in the empty apartment and, in that moment, I knew that everything ends. But as I watched the cameras pan through the apartment I secretly hoped everyone would come back and that they would bring the barcaloungers and the large porcelain white dog. But I knew they wouldn’t.
Without getting too depressing, people die, stories end, and television shows get canceled out of the blue. (Fifteen years later and I’m still a little bitter about Freaks and Geeks.) So are endings really inevitable?
What You Missed on The Finale of The Bachelor: “The Most Dramatic Finale Yet”
humor, television, the bachelor, UncategorizedIt’s time for Ben to make the biggest decision of his life. And I’m not being hyperbolic, that’s actually how Chris Harrison’s voiceover describes it at the start of the show. Just based off of the amount of crying happening in the preview for tonight’s episode, this one looks like a doozy.
Chris Harrison, back on set to complete his two hours of required work each season, also teases at the beginning of the show that Ben might get married in the live after show at 10 p.m., because, like… why not?
What You Missed On This Week’s Episode Of The Bachelor: Is He Allowed To Do That?
humor, television, the bachelor, UncategorizedAnd then there were three.
This week’s episode takes our three remaining girls and Ben to Jamaica. “The water is blue, the air is fresh,” and Ben is starting to sound like an idiot. As Ben intros the girls he lists his reservations about them. With Caila, he has a real problem with how happy she is. Basically she smiles way too much for him. I guess that phrase happy wife happy life really doesn’t apply to him. Ben:
How to Play “The Game”
humor, UncategorizedRecently while I was hanging out with three of my girlfriends, I drafted a text message to send to a guy. It was the type of text message that had to simultaneously say, “I’m cool but not conceited,” and “I’m both fun and funny.” You can imagine the pressure.
After drafting the text message I did what any normal girl would do: I passed it around one-by-one so that my friends could read it and help me weigh in on whether or not I should send it. The text message went through a series of rigorous examinations to make sure it was send-worthy. We did focus groups on whether or not it was funny enough. We held caucuses on whether or not I came off too strong in the text. We made graphs and charts to determine if I’d waited the necessary amount of time since he texted me last.
What You Missed on This Week’s Episode of The Bachelor: Cue the Tears
humor, television, the bachelor, UncategorizedJust so that everyone knows how ’round the bend I have gone, I am officially dreaming about The Bachelor. I had a dream Sunday night about this week’s episode. (For those who are deeply curious, in my dream they were all on a group date at this haunted hotel and Amanda wasn’t there! It was just Caila, JoJo, Lauren B., and Ben. What does this mean? I’ll consult my dream journal and get back to you.)
What You Missed On This Week’s Episode of The Bachelor: Did He Really Just Bring Her to a McDonalds?
humor, the bachelor, UncategorizedThe gist of the thirty second preview of tonight’s episode is that everyone is crying. About what? I couldn’t say. (Maybe they’ve finally realized that their chances of finding true love on this show are slim to none.) But let’s launch into this recap. This week the show takes the girls and Ben to his hometown: Warsaw, Indiana.
What You Missed on This Week’s Episode of The Bachelor: When Pigs Swim?
humor, the bachelor, UncategorizedWhere did we leave off? Oh yes, I remember.
Ben has pulled Olivia off to the side but a question still lingers in the air: Will he take the rose away from her?
I’m Only in it For the Chicken Wings
humor, UncategorizedI was once told by a friend of mine that if I pretended to like football, guys would like me more. Because isn’t that every girl’s dream? Changing who she is to please a man? Maybe that friend was right, I don’t know. But with the Super Bowl this weekend, it has never been more clear to me that I don’t like football and I never will.
Okay, Here's The Situation 